By - beerbellybegone
Women who project their weird love lives onto their kids like this are kind of gross.
That is how we get basement dweller incels with oedypus complex, who can only get off spying his mother while she showers. Either that or the mother tries to gaslight the boy into incest. Pick your poison
After reading that, whatever works quickly and painlessly
I hear good things about voting republican
No one cares, not everyone is apart of American politics.
He said that I was irrelevant, got mad pretended he didn’t care for my opinion then got so mad at my opinion he blocked me. Oh not before sending me a Reddit self help thing.
You act like both sides aren’t crooked AF. No politician gives a damn.
It’s simple, republicans want to end privacy, rig future elections and continue to persecute Americans based on race and gender identity. Democrats don’t. We’ll figure out the rest later.
Get it right or pay the price
Ah shit uncle grandpa is an asswipe
Copy that, voting for neither
Republicans are more honest because they don't hide their hatred of the proles. Democrats continually talk about how much they love the proles, but never do anything to improve things.
Republicans are murderers that want to forcibly take the country from law abiding citizens. Democrats are none of those things. Get out of here with your bullshit
Where should I go with my bullshit?
Its a turn of phrase.
You can go anywhere you like, and say what you wanna say, that’s perfectly fine with me. Just expect me to be here as well vocally opposing your opinion.
I don’t like the democrats either but until there’s another option if you vote republican you have blood on your hands.
Or just straight up break both of their son’s arms.
I understand that reference.
And I truly wish I didn't.
Sorry the Internet happened.
***chris chan intensifies***
It's creepy AF
Wow. This is simply NOT ok. Parenthood is great for people who want it, but to put that kind of pressure on a 6 month old baby, simply NOT fair
Every child deserves a parent, not every parent deserves a child.
Very well put!
My mom did this to me. Thanks for the personality disorder mom
He was changing his diapers at 3 months, by 9 months he started leaving the lid up
Well just the idea that your 6 month old is the only one who can give you the love you deserve….weird.
Kind of. No completely, emotionally fetishes are extremely gross
Kind of? They are completely gross and its their entire personality
Dude left cause the kid is clearly a freakin space alien
That's why mine left before I was born and my family said I looked like one when I was a baby
My dad stayed but was terrible, although he only told me I came out looking reptilian, so??
When I was a baby I would cry when someone mooed like a cow, maybe it was because of what the Aliens did to all the cows.
I’m pretty sure this is conclusive evidence neither of us are humans , at the very least .
Oh 100% Plus apparently there was a UFO sighting the day I was born, tho it was on the other side of the planet but who knows how fast they can fly.
That’s actually super cool, I love that. :) my space sibling
There's a book about it called "Witnessed: The True Story of the Brooklyn Bridge Ufo Abductions"
Plot twist: this was the Borg queen from the Alpha quadrant. The assimilated infant was operating within normal parameters.
I’m convinced this has to be satire. No way could she think this was believable.
Yeah... Either a satire. Or that kid gonna have some serious mommy issues.
That kids name: Norman Bates
Also that kids name: Homelander
I beat off into a cup
With deformative traits
Or it’s a child who posted it who has no child and no clue about child development
Are you really doubting the Queen??
Yes. Now go make me breakfast.
Without a doubt this is satire.
It's a very very common format. It's borderline copypasta except it changes slightly. But unfortunately it's usually mothers making their own version. I'd say this one is just bait because there's no source, it's just a white page with text.
No fucking shit
Of course it is but any opportunity to criticize women and Reddit runs with it
It’s satire. Babies don’t talk at 6 months and this woman knows that. She’s funny. Some of them are funny and also see cringe mom posts too
There's actually a term for when a parent says something they think is deep and attribute it to their kid for attention.. I've been wracking my brain trying to remember the term, but it's totes a thing and ALWAYS really icky and weird.
Parentification is a different type of abuse, where a child is forced to take on the role of parent and take care of or raise their siblings. This whole situation I would just call emotional incest, but I’m not sure the word for falsely attributing words to kids is, apart from lying lol
Is there a separate term for the parents who act like their kid is their parent and they are the child? There are echoes of that in some of these strange posts.
I did a deep dive into the Internet and couldn't find anything except that it seems like some variation of munchausen by-proxy, but instead of faking illness for attention they're using their kids for something else.
I did find an article talking about this phenomenon though! https://www.vice.com/en/article/3b7bbn/the-sad-world-of-adults-pretending-to-be-kids-for-retweets
Jeez though.. I swear there's gotta be a subreddit where people post these things. I'd join that.
>Jeez though.. I swear there's gotta be a subreddit where people post these things. I'd join that.
Oh wait, I guess that would just be THIS sub! 🤦♀️
Idunno the name but this shit is like munchausen by proxy except instead of injury it's delusions of grandeur
Visions of an 8 year old panicking as the kitchen is on fire.
Tbf when I was 8 I was able to cook very basic things since I had been cooking for as long as I could
I agree cooking at 8 is not that impossible even like makeing a sandwich or smh is easy enough and my parents even would let me help with some basic cutting and even like frying (with tight supervision)
Yea by the time I was 9 or 10 I was trusted to cook unsupervised, but till then it was always limited things I could do or I had to be watched
> for as long as I could
So a few hours?
Basic cooking is not hard for an 8 year old. My friends kids have been frying eggs and stuff like that since they were 8.
Only someone who has never known a baby would make this lie.
Imagining someone with a rolodex of just all the babies they know
I remember when my son turned six months. He looked me straight in the eye and said, *Father, this flesh is simply a vessel for an eternal spirit, and if you knew my true name, it would surely splinter your mind.*
*Father, I have such delights to show you*
How are you posting this with a splintered mind?
Never got to know the real name
For the sake of my own sanity, I'm calling this satire.
.. But I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't 💀
*Image Transcription: Text*
Oww😍😍 I still remember when my son turned 6 Months and he asked me "Mommy where's my dad?" I literally cried and said to him "baby your father and i are no longer together", the then sat on my lap and wiped my tears and he said "Mommy you are a queen, and I'm the only one who can ever give you the love that you deserve"💔😭 he's turning 8 years today and he just woke me up with a nicely made breakfast in bed🤗❤️😊
^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
It’s true, I was the breakfast
6 months spewing all that corny ass shit hell no
Delusion is strong in this one.
As I read this my unborn child (still a foetus) kicked, in Morse code, "this never happened"
Ewww… why is she treating him like a boyfriend? And ew, why is he making her breakfast in bed on HIS birthday?? This is nuts
This reminds me of the time my 3 month son and I were sitting in our favorite comfy chairs near the fire conversing about the days latest stock report. Then he suddenly stopped and spoke, "Father, I believe it is atrocious that mother ran away with our Filipino gardener, and accused you of cheating when I came out darker skinned than both of you. She will rue the day she realizes the King you are and adequate provider!" I began to gently sob because, for the first time in my life I felt truly "seen." My son then tenderly caressed my face raising my chin. Looking deeply into my tear stained eyes he delicately whispered, "Father...I've made stool." #kidswillbekids #kidsreallyarethefuture
“I’ve made a stool”....literally lol and crying over here.
this is obviously a joke😭
You could copy paste this comment on most of the posts in this subreddit. And you’d be right.
Or a failure in biology psychology and sex ed
So funny that people calling this stupid are too stupid to see that this is obvious satire
*Then he enrolled himself in Harvard's Baby Ph.D program and re-wired the apartment.*
My son recently turned 6 months. He turned to me and said “AHHHHHHhhh bahbahbbadaba.” And then screamed for a little bit longer
Her poor future DIL or SIL is going to have a really hard time of it.
Breakfast was a freshly baked baguette with foie gras and hand squeezed pomegranate juice.
[Emotional incest](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/covert-incest) is gross. I think Dr. Phil refers to it as unconsummated incest.
Ewww… Dr Phil didn’t need to make it even weirder sounding, did he?
Dr Phil is a cunt. That he says it is reason enough for everyone else to disregard it.
I can both agree with most of this thread: Dr Phil is a cunt and this particular phrase is both unnecessarily gross and spot on.
I skimmed through that and I cringed
This is satire.
Why are people who make up shit like this also always terrible at phonetically representing sounds? "Oww"?! Fucking "*Oww*"!? You know "Aww" is already a standardised way of writing that sound, right Karen?
I doubt this bitch even got a kid
This is screaming satire omg
God I hate people
“the then” 🤷🏻♂️
Yeah that many words at 6 months.... Bet the breakfast was cereal and orange juice.
6 months and that articulate? Damn, kid might be an alien or divinity or something
This is really just a way for bored moms to talk about themselves and the "highlights" of child having.
I find that a lot of new moms do this thing where they'll say anything to get "new mom" attention, presumably because they've gotten so much during their pregnancy. It's always old reposts from back when they were full term or telling everyone every tiny detail about their baby, which is fine, but then some of them do this stuff, where they lie and get caught doing so.
Egocentric people are the worst.
A baby talking and able to get on your lap at 6 months?
QUICK Someone call MENSA!!, That kid must have an IQ of 180 or more, Steven Hawkins & Albert Einstein were only a measly 160
This is why we need RvW
Wow a six month old who can speak in full sentences? No wonder the dad left clearly that kid is alien
Not satire. A lie.
I used to speak fluent Italian and could cook hamburger steak at the tender age of 2 days. Speak for yourself, op.
Where are the nothing ever happens people? They’d actually believe this BS lol.
Things like this deeply disturb me... You can only imagine what they're projecting onto their kids....
What's worse is in this fantasy, the child is making HER breakfast in bed on their birthday
She is basically telling us that her husband left her for all the right reasons.
Man that's nothing. When my kid was 6 months old, he called 911 to save a strangers life but the ambulance wouldn't get there in time so after giving CPR, he just drove the stranger to the hospital.
...And then they opened a lovely little roadside motel?
6 months? Was he retarded? I was texting my parents from the womb by tapping out Morse code with my feet.
The amount of people who don't realize this is satire is disheartening
I think this is satire based on similar posts
I know it’s fake but imagine the emotional incest this lady is going to put this kid through. These are the type of dudes that end up wearing womens faces. This dude will own a nipple belt one day.
A 6 month old can barely say anything besides mom or dad but sure, ok. Now at 8, he's a world class chef. Making all that up about your child is just going to set him with goals that he cannot acquire. Nothing like adding extra pressure on your child
It’s true, I was the dad
It’s true. I was the breakfast
This is emotional incest. I hate to see it.
Ok this is a parody
Incest porn story on xvideos.com
Think this might be satire
Yet another heartwarming tale of emotional incest
this is clear satire
This is obvious satire
And then the breakfast clapped 👏
Now that he is 8 you know he made that bed for her and cooked her a damn breakfast buffet
Next level bs.
I couldnt read until i was 9 hows man making full breakfast at 8
I remember the day when my new born told me that “Happiness is not an ideal of reason but of imagination” then proceeded to caress my back and tell me to let go of all the pain.
That father? The mighty Zeus himself. That son? Hercules.
He carries the weight of his mother's emotions on his shoulders along with the tonnage of delusion she's under as well.
And then everyone clapped?
Ah yes, a second grade chef
This woman probably doesn't even have a kid, she just thought she was writing something sweet but instead wrote the beginning of an incest story and made shit weird.
Stop using your children to affirm your narcissism. Also this never happened.
If a 6 month old baby is speaking to you like this, it’s time to consider aliens have in fact invaded our population.
Not even faintly believable
He's a keeper. Don't let him get away.
Wow. I thought my 14 month old was a genuine for saying three words: mommy, dada and NO!
This kid must be the next Einstein. Or yeah, maybe it didn’t happen
6 months!!! My nephew said the same thing at 3 months and in French.
Every time I see this I think of my kid when they were six months old. If they had come up to me and spoken a complete sentence that was appropriate to my current mood or situation, I would have shit myself and been straight to the nearest holy man for an exorcism!
My parents were done before I was 1, no kid would ever say that. I know what they would say, but will not say it because I don't want some piece of shit loser like OP to go and make a new "inspirational" post
I just want to say to the OP, fuck you
So her mom was taking care of the kid right? Someone that actually has been around a 6 months old knows this would be impossible.
Yeah women like this either become a murderer or raise a serial killer
“You are a queen” Ma’am please check your ego at the door
So baby can cook now? Who tf calls their kid 'baby' anyway? Smh...
It’s so sad that these people seek validation so much that they post their fantasies online for just the smallest amount of attention.
And then he recited a poem and sung the national anthem
I'm not even sure she even has a kid if she says shit like that.. My kids tried making me and my wife breakfast the other week and was adamant on making pancakes, the pancakes were full of eggshells and nails you put in walls yes nails.. they're 10 and 12
Didn't even post a photo of the breakfast you're so proud of that your 8 year old cooked. Bullshit. And why did it hurt?
I hope that, after he gave you breakfast in bed, he wasn't late for work.
My daughter just turned one and said “Duck”
So, Jocasta is on facebook?
What the six month old probably really said was, “da da” as he played with his feet.
No way in hell a 6 month old is speaking full, intelligible sentences much less have the motor skills to wipe tears away.
Incest is best.
At 6 months a baby could sign a bit, but not speak.
No 6 month old speaks. I'm a nanny, the 6 month old I take care of just makes dinosaur-esque noises and grabs my hair with an attempt to eat my face.
This woman is fucked up, both she and her kid need counseling. SEPARATELY
I hope you're making him wear a condom.
I remember when my little brother was 6 months old, he ate a bug and vomited on our carpet. Good times
I was playing soccer when I was 5 month old
I believe her
bro at six month i was still trying to eat my own shit tf this kid doing speaking????
All i read was a single mom trying to overcompensate .
Odd such a precocious kid is making the breakfast in bed at eight years old. Has he not found the kitchen?
Making breakfast in bed the cook he hired should be doing that he should at his job at NASA
My little girl is 11 months. The most coherent thing she can say is "dada" and I'm 100% sure it has no meaning to her. This chick must be trolling cause no actual mother can possibly be this stupid.
He also can cook
Other than this not happening, this is gross. Girl your child is not your man.
hahaha is this a joke? 🤣
My mommy is mentally ill and so am I: A 3rd Grade Picture Book, published by Scholastic Books
i hope the breakfast was burnt toast and undercooked bacon
And then he quoted Shakespeare to me and we discussed the futility of moral enclosures while I changed his poopy diaper.
Anyone who has a kid knows this story is complete and utter bullshit.