T O P
SpokenDivinity

Women who project their weird love lives onto their kids like this are kind of gross.


Sikness1924

That is how we get basement dweller incels with oedypus complex, who can only get off spying his mother while she showers. Either that or the mother tries to gaslight the boy into incest. Pick your poison


Icy_Praline_1297

After reading that, whatever works quickly and painlessly


JuiceColdman

I hear good things about voting republican


getrekdnoob

No one cares, not everyone is apart of American politics. He said that I was irrelevant, got mad pretended he didn’t care for my opinion then got so mad at my opinion he blocked me. Oh not before sending me a Reddit self help thing.


FinalForm7

You act like both sides aren’t crooked AF. No politician gives a damn.


JuiceColdman

It’s simple, republicans want to end privacy, rig future elections and continue to persecute Americans based on race and gender identity. Democrats don’t. We’ll figure out the rest later. Get it right or pay the price -Ug


LonelyLostPuppy86

>Ug Uncle Grandpa??


GodDamnRight-

Ah shit uncle grandpa is an asswipe


zhrimb

Copy that, voting for neither


BerthaBenz

Republicans are more honest because they don't hide their hatred of the proles. Democrats continually talk about how much they love the proles, but never do anything to improve things.


JuiceColdman

Republicans are murderers that want to forcibly take the country from law abiding citizens. Democrats are none of those things. Get out of here with your bullshit


BerthaBenz

Where should I go with my bullshit?


JuiceColdman

Its a turn of phrase. You can go anywhere you like, and say what you wanna say, that’s perfectly fine with me. Just expect me to be here as well vocally opposing your opinion. I don’t like the democrats either but until there’s another option if you vote republican you have blood on your hands.


ManiacSpiderTrash

Or just straight up break both of their son’s arms.


WaldoJeffers65

I understand that reference. And I truly wish I didn't.


phoenixv07

Sorry the Internet happened.


15demi08

[Well...](https://c.tenor.com/F5LQ5A9DYjMAAAAC/jurassic-park-jeff-goldblum.gif)


patchesnbrownie

***chris chan intensifies***


[deleted]

[удалено]


beeks_tardis

It's creepy AF


Wishiwashome

Wow. This is simply NOT ok. Parenthood is great for people who want it, but to put that kind of pressure on a 6 month old baby, simply NOT fair


anotherboringdude

Every child deserves a parent, not every parent deserves a child.


Wishiwashome

Very well put!


jlesnick

My mom did this to me. Thanks for the personality disorder mom


Aleashed

He was changing his diapers at 3 months, by 9 months he started leaving the lid up


nousabyss

Kind of?


Sailrjup12

Well just the idea that your 6 month old is the only one who can give you the love you deserve….weird.


21_saladz

Kind of. No completely, emotionally fetishes are extremely gross


PMmeYourHugewiener

Kind of? They are completely gross and its their entire personality


thunder-cricket

“Kind of”?


GenomeXIII

Kind of?


napsdufroid

Kind of?


Commercial-Ad-5813

Dude left cause the kid is clearly a freakin space alien


island-grl

Accurate.


Mr_master89

That's why mine left before I was born and my family said I looked like one when I was a baby


BubonicBabe

My dad stayed but was terrible, although he only told me I came out looking reptilian, so??


Mr_master89

When I was a baby I would cry when someone mooed like a cow, maybe it was because of what the Aliens did to all the cows.


BubonicBabe

I’m pretty sure this is conclusive evidence neither of us are humans , at the very least .


Mr_master89

Oh 100% Plus apparently there was a UFO sighting the day I was born, tho it was on the other side of the planet but who knows how fast they can fly.


BubonicBabe

That’s actually super cool, I love that. :) my space sibling


Mr_master89

There's a book about it called "Witnessed: The True Story of the Brooklyn Bridge Ufo Abductions"


GoodVibesWow

Plot twist: this was the Borg queen from the Alpha quadrant. The assimilated infant was operating within normal parameters.


Amazing_Fill9489

I’m convinced this has to be satire. No way could she think this was believable.


st6374

Yeah... Either a satire. Or that kid gonna have some serious mommy issues.


M88L8

That kids name: Norman Bates


fabulo5o

Also that kids name: Homelander


VAGINA_BLOODFART

I beat off into a cup


Nattylight_Murica

With deformative traits


No-Chipmunk9527

Or it’s a child who posted it who has no child and no clue about child development


twizzard6931

Are you really doubting the Queen?? ![gif](giphy|xUA7aLPYKkcFevVU64|downsized)


LolaBijou

Yes. Now go make me breakfast.


JDDJS

Without a doubt this is satire.


HellsMalice

It's a very very common format. It's borderline copypasta except it changes slightly. But unfortunately it's usually mothers making their own version. I'd say this one is just bait because there's no source, it's just a white page with text.


-B0B-

No fucking shit


UnprofessionalGhosts

Of course it is but any opportunity to criticize women and Reddit runs with it


im_ok_

It’s satire. Babies don’t talk at 6 months and this woman knows that. She’s funny. Some of them are funny and also see cringe mom posts too


prisma_fox

There's actually a term for when a parent says something they think is deep and attribute it to their kid for attention.. I've been wracking my brain trying to remember the term, but it's totes a thing and ALWAYS really icky and weird.


Cuyigan

Narcissistic parentification? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parentification


amarg19

Parentification is a different type of abuse, where a child is forced to take on the role of parent and take care of or raise their siblings. This whole situation I would just call emotional incest, but I’m not sure the word for falsely attributing words to kids is, apart from lying lol


Cuyigan

Is there a separate term for the parents who act like their kid is their parent and they are the child? There are echoes of that in some of these strange posts.


IdonotlikeMe

Emotional parentification


prisma_fox

I did a deep dive into the Internet and couldn't find anything except that it seems like some variation of munchausen by-proxy, but instead of faking illness for attention they're using their kids for something else. I did find an article talking about this phenomenon though! https://www.vice.com/en/article/3b7bbn/the-sad-world-of-adults-pretending-to-be-kids-for-retweets Jeez though.. I swear there's gotta be a subreddit where people post these things. I'd join that.


prisma_fox

>Jeez though.. I swear there's gotta be a subreddit where people post these things. I'd join that. Oh wait, I guess that would just be THIS sub! 🤦‍♀️


Ascurtis

Idunno the name but this shit is like munchausen by proxy except instead of injury it's delusions of grandeur


VeneMage

Visions of an 8 year old panicking as the kitchen is on fire.


senoto

Tbf when I was 8 I was able to cook very basic things since I had been cooking for as long as I could


mavvaria

I agree cooking at 8 is not that impossible even like makeing a sandwich or smh is easy enough and my parents even would let me help with some basic cutting and even like frying (with tight supervision)


senoto

Yea by the time I was 9 or 10 I was trusted to cook unsupervised, but till then it was always limited things I could do or I had to be watched


eyebrows360

> for as long as I could So a few hours?


texasproof

Basic cooking is not hard for an 8 year old. My friends kids have been frying eggs and stuff like that since they were 8.


pompompomponponpom

Only someone who has never known a baby would make this lie.


eyebrows360

Imagining someone with a rolodex of just all the babies they know


My_hilarious_name

I remember when my son turned six months. He looked me straight in the eye and said, *Father, this flesh is simply a vessel for an eternal spirit, and if you knew my true name, it would surely splinter your mind.*


eyebrows360

*Father, I have such delights to show you*


cmVkZGl0

How are you posting this with a splintered mind?


Lemon126

Never got to know the real name


Big_Stinky_Cock

For the sake of my own sanity, I'm calling this satire. .. But I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't 💀


seeroflights

*Image Transcription: Text* --- Oww😍😍 I still remember when my son turned 6 Months and he asked me "Mommy where's my dad?" I literally cried and said to him "baby your father and i are no longer together", the then sat on my lap and wiped my tears and he said "Mommy you are a queen, and I'm the only one who can ever give you the love that you deserve"💔😭 he's turning 8 years today and he just woke me up with a nicely made breakfast in bed🤗❤️😊 --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)


Leading_Procedure_23

Good human


badlucksnot67

It’s true, I was the breakfast .


Red1Veil1Jester

6 months spewing all that corny ass shit hell no


CrazyCajun1966

Delusion is strong in this one.


AlCaprone

As I read this my unborn child (still a foetus) kicked, in Morse code, "this never happened"


ChildofLilith666

Ewww… why is she treating him like a boyfriend? And ew, why is he making her breakfast in bed on HIS birthday?? This is nuts


Kagynga

This reminds me of the time my 3 month son and I were sitting in our favorite comfy chairs near the fire conversing about the days latest stock report. Then he suddenly stopped and spoke, "Father, I believe it is atrocious that mother ran away with our Filipino gardener, and accused you of cheating when I came out darker skinned than both of you. She will rue the day she realizes the King you are and adequate provider!" I began to gently sob because, for the first time in my life I felt truly "seen." My son then tenderly caressed my face raising my chin. Looking deeply into my tear stained eyes he delicately whispered, "Father...I've made stool." #kidswillbekids #kidsreallyarethefuture


Nigglesscripts

“I’ve made a stool”....literally lol and crying over here.


nicolas_ss0

this is obviously a joke😭


Puzzleheaded_Play390

You could copy paste this comment on most of the posts in this subreddit. And you’d be right.


nousabyss

Or a failure in biology psychology and sex ed


DummybugStudios

So funny that people calling this stupid are too stupid to see that this is obvious satire


sugarinthetank

*Then he enrolled himself in Harvard's Baby Ph.D program and re-wired the apartment.*


twiddlefish

My son recently turned 6 months. He turned to me and said “AHHHHHHhhh bahbahbbadaba.” And then screamed for a little bit longer


SellQuick

Her poor future DIL or SIL is going to have a really hard time of it.


intromatt

Breakfast was a freshly baked baguette with foie gras and hand squeezed pomegranate juice.


andre3kthegiant

[Emotional incest](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/covert-incest) is gross. I think Dr. Phil refers to it as unconsummated incest.


ellepatel

Ewww… Dr Phil didn’t need to make it even weirder sounding, did he?


PreOpTransCentaur

Dr Phil is a cunt. That he says it is reason enough for everyone else to disregard it.


beeks_tardis

I can both agree with most of this thread: Dr Phil is a cunt and this particular phrase is both unnecessarily gross and spot on.


ColdBloodBlazing

I skimmed through that and I cringed


UpDog424

This is satire.


Seltz_

Oww😍😍


eyebrows360

Why are people who make up shit like this also always terrible at phonetically representing sounds? "Oww"?! Fucking "*Oww*"!? You know "Aww" is already a standardised way of writing that sound, right Karen?


TangoHydra

I doubt this bitch even got a kid


woahthatwaclose

This is screaming satire omg


ImTheReelRodFather

God I hate people


Zxebn

“the then” 🤷🏻‍♂️


ExpressAnywhere

Yeah that many words at 6 months.... Bet the breakfast was cereal and orange juice.


firesnake412

BS Queen!


stanger828

6 months and that articulate? Damn, kid might be an alien or divinity or something


1BoiledCabbage

This is really just a way for bored moms to talk about themselves and the "highlights" of child having. I find that a lot of new moms do this thing where they'll say anything to get "new mom" attention, presumably because they've gotten so much during their pregnancy. It's always old reposts from back when they were full term or telling everyone every tiny detail about their baby, which is fine, but then some of them do this stuff, where they lie and get caught doing so.


Educational-Year3146

Egocentric people are the worst.


ConcealedPsychosis

A baby talking and able to get on your lap at 6 months? QUICK Someone call MENSA!!, That kid must have an IQ of 180 or more, Steven Hawkins & Albert Einstein were only a measly 160


TheJuiceGrenade

This is why we need RvW


kneecapstealerr

Wow a six month old who can speak in full sentences? No wonder the dad left clearly that kid is alien


kitty-yaya

Not satire. A lie.


supersaiyaninfinite

I used to speak fluent Italian and could cook hamburger steak at the tender age of 2 days. Speak for yourself, op. /S


Retired852

Bullshit 🙄


electric-word-life

Where are the nothing ever happens people? They’d actually believe this BS lol.


Brooklynyte84

Things like this deeply disturb me... You can only imagine what they're projecting onto their kids....


OstracisedWitch

What's worse is in this fantasy, the child is making HER breakfast in bed on their birthday


mayankkaizen

She is basically telling us that her husband left her for all the right reasons.


can_i_go_home_yet

Man that's nothing. When my kid was 6 months old, he called 911 to save a strangers life but the ambulance wouldn't get there in time so after giving CPR, he just drove the stranger to the hospital.


PerfStu

...And then they opened a lovely little roadside motel? Great prequel.


SickOfAllThisShite

6 months? Was he retarded? I was texting my parents from the womb by tapping out Morse code with my feet.


hillsb1

The amount of people who don't realize this is satire is disheartening


rastafariann

I think this is satire based on similar posts


gnardan

I know it’s fake but imagine the emotional incest this lady is going to put this kid through. These are the type of dudes that end up wearing womens faces. This dude will own a nipple belt one day.


Porky10

A 6 month old can barely say anything besides mom or dad but sure, ok. Now at 8, he's a world class chef. Making all that up about your child is just going to set him with goals that he cannot acquire. Nothing like adding extra pressure on your child


ActuallyALeftTwix

It’s true, I was the dad


Level_Grapes

It’s true. I was the breakfast


[deleted]

This is emotional incest. I hate to see it.


then00bgm

Ok this is a parody


crazysexyuncool

Incest porn story on xvideos.com


amazza95

Think this might be satire


roofus8658

Yet another heartwarming tale of emotional incest


Panda721828

this is clear satire


a-midnight-flight

This is obvious satire


gokumc83

And then the breakfast clapped 👏


Adventurous-Cry-9942

Now that he is 8 you know he made that bed for her and cooked her a damn breakfast buffet


oat_bamboo

Next level bs.


ghostreaderi

I couldnt read until i was 9 hows man making full breakfast at 8


MrZyde

I remember the day when my new born told me that “Happiness is not an ideal of reason but of imagination” then proceeded to caress my back and tell me to let go of all the pain.


lysergic_818

That father? The mighty Zeus himself. That son? Hercules. He carries the weight of his mother's emotions on his shoulders along with the tonnage of delusion she's under as well.


MonitorProud

And then everyone clapped?


GrassyTurtle38

Ah yes, a second grade chef


XxXPussyXSlayer69XxX

This woman probably doesn't even have a kid, she just thought she was writing something sweet but instead wrote the beginning of an incest story and made shit weird.


Putrid_Visual173

Stop using your children to affirm your narcissism. Also this never happened.


UnicornKitt3n

If a 6 month old baby is speaking to you like this, it’s time to consider aliens have in fact invaded our population.


SirReginaldPinkleton

Not even faintly believable


maxxspeed

He's a keeper. Don't let him get away.


EssieVB

Wow. I thought my 14 month old was a genuine for saying three words: mommy, dada and NO! This kid must be the next Einstein. Or yeah, maybe it didn’t happen


Paindepiceaubeurre

![gif](giphy|eH2uOQEmvcqcqgPoH3)


Sailrjup12

6 months!!! My nephew said the same thing at 3 months and in French.


cooky422

Every time I see this I think of my kid when they were six months old. If they had come up to me and spoken a complete sentence that was appropriate to my current mood or situation, I would have shit myself and been straight to the nearest holy man for an exorcism!


CaptYzerman

My parents were done before I was 1, no kid would ever say that. I know what they would say, but will not say it because I don't want some piece of shit loser like OP to go and make a new "inspirational" post I just want to say to the OP, fuck you


SnooComics8268

So her mom was taking care of the kid right? Someone that actually has been around a 6 months old knows this would be impossible.


Ok_Face_965

Ew


Asleep-Ad-764

Yeah women like this either become a murderer or raise a serial killer


Overlord_Primus

“You are a queen” Ma’am please check your ego at the door


kitty-yaya

And year.


TwentyTwoMilTeePiece

So baby can cook now? Who tf calls their kid 'baby' anyway? Smh...


BradyBales

It’s so sad that these people seek validation so much that they post their fantasies online for just the smallest amount of attention.


---------------hw

And then he recited a poem and sung the national anthem


prettyrick

I'm not even sure she even has a kid if she says shit like that.. My kids tried making me and my wife breakfast the other week and was adamant on making pancakes, the pancakes were full of eggshells and nails you put in walls yes nails.. they're 10 and 12


Flotime

Didn't even post a photo of the breakfast you're so proud of that your 8 year old cooked. Bullshit. And why did it hurt?


unnamedharald2

I hope that, after he gave you breakfast in bed, he wasn't late for work.


Enough_Vegetable_953

My daughter just turned one and said “Duck”


Thiago270398

So, Jocasta is on facebook?


meshqwert

6 months?


Commercial-Push-9066

What the six month old probably really said was, “da da” as he played with his feet.


DrDalekFortyTwo

No way in hell a 6 month old is speaking full, intelligible sentences much less have the motor skills to wipe tears away.


kaiju999

Incest is best.


topinanbour-rex

At 6 months a baby could sign a bit, but not speak.


MarvelNerdess

No 6 month old speaks. I'm a nanny, the 6 month old I take care of just makes dinosaur-esque noises and grabs my hair with an attempt to eat my face. This woman is fucked up, both she and her kid need counseling. SEPARATELY


Special_Ed2018

I hope you're making him wear a condom.


-Jiras

I remember when my little brother was 6 months old, he ate a bug and vomited on our carpet. Good times


rajaivadran81

I was playing soccer when I was 5 month old I believe her


thatsgiven

bro at six month i was still trying to eat my own shit tf this kid doing speaking????


LeGJOaT69966996

All i read was a single mom trying to overcompensate .


histeethwerered

Odd such a precocious kid is making the breakfast in bed at eight years old. Has he not found the kitchen?


42jdzrcm

Making breakfast in bed the cook he hired should be doing that he should at his job at NASA


Hour_Dog_4781

My little girl is 11 months. The most coherent thing she can say is "dada" and I'm 100% sure it has no meaning to her. This chick must be trolling cause no actual mother can possibly be this stupid.


SloppySlime31

He also can cook


astrotoya

Other than this not happening, this is gross. Girl your child is not your man.


Puzzleheaded-Bee3535

hahaha is this a joke? 🤣


tsch-III

My mommy is mentally ill and so am I: A 3rd Grade Picture Book, published by Scholastic Books


alpha1693

i hope the breakfast was burnt toast and undercooked bacon


GoodVibesWow

And then he quoted Shakespeare to me and we discussed the futility of moral enclosures while I changed his poopy diaper.


hippiechick725

Anyone who has a kid knows this story is complete and utter bullshit.