20yr old, soon to move out, soon to be a father. Need advice on how to even start.
By - olafjb
Stop investing, you need to survive. You need to work 8 hours a day trying to get a job. Side gigs until you get one and do everything you possibly can to get that degree.
Makes sense, savings account is smart tho?
As a safe place to keep money, yes. As a way to grow money no.
Hey, thanks for the reply. There are several job opportunities, I'm currently taking a course to be listed as a Novice Car Mechanic. I will go around the city to see if someone would give me a chance. There are several job opportunities with my gf's family (mostly picking fruits, carpentry, construction.)
Campus offers are kinda difficult rn, I live in a smaller city and study in a different one (much bigger) due to covid I didn't move there and I still don't know what I'll do regarding that subject.
>Otherwise I'd see if campus offers any low-key student work-study - my old rooomate worked in the campus library at the reference desk or something, and was able to get a good bit of school work done on paid time during slow hours.
These jobs are often limited to 16-20 hrs a week and while decent for some pocket money aren't actually great for trying to support a family.
I worked though college but didn't live on campus so for me the commute wasn't a big deal but the limited hours and low pay were deal breakers for student jobs. Our campus was super expensive to live on so living off campus and working more was the right call for me.
I get what you are saying though about some of those jobs being better for studying while getting paid than others and they are flexible around finals weeks and stuff. Also not needing to find transportation could be worth it.
We each have our own experiences and it is good to get different perspectives.
You need to be laser focused on YOUR career. Your gf will be at home taking care of your kid. Your job is to provide.
Computer Science is a good career choice, at least in the U.S. but I assume elsewhere too.
Whatever happens, finish your degree. It could be your ticket to financial freedom. Everything depends on it.
Take all the help you can get from family. Do not let pride get in the way. At this point, you are a beggar and you can have no ego. All you should worry about is the future of your kid. Do whatever it takes to make that future bright.
Your life is no longer your own. You life belongs to you gf and kid.
All that said, raising a family is difficult but rewarding experience. Let it shape you into a better version of yourself and you will look back and regret nothing.
I need to find a way to handle a job and my career but I agree, it could be a life saver.
You cannot move out. It's not possible in your situation you have to stay with either of your parents in your situation. There's no way in the world you can survive on the amount of money you're making
I have no choice. I have to make sure we will survive.
Moving out will make it less likely that you survive.
None of our families would take us. They essentially said "we'll help but get your own place". That's why I don't really have a choice.
Sorry to hear that that's shitty of them
What they are saying is that if anyone is willing to let you live with them (mom, dad, grandma, uncle, sister, brother) even paying a little rent it is best to get rid of the ego and accept the help. Raising a baby, learning how to live with your partner, working full time, going to school full time and still struggling for money is tough life to live especially without a lot of support. This kind of stress ruins a lot of relationships very fast.
I would also hold of on the wedding plans. It isn't a necessary expense and to be honest the likely hood of this relationship surviving 5 years is super low. Once you graduate and find a decent job if you are still together that is the time to plan a nice wedding. If y'all insist on getting married it is the court house and potluck picnic in someone's backyard because that is what you can afford.
For work I would look into night work like stocking at a large store, security work etc. Pays a little better than other things with hours that let you go to school. It will be hard to get enough sleep but lets face it this isn't going to be an easy couple of years.
Also you need to double up on the birth control the last thing you need after this baby is born is another one. If she can be on birth control after the baby is born that needs to happen and you need to be using condoms also.
You need a full time job. Look at amazon warehouses in the area maybe? Costco or something similar? You honestly can't afford to #1 move out and #2 having a child. This is a horrible idea.
You listed your income in USD which is fine, but you haven't listed your expenses. How much will housing, food, utilities, transportation, etc cost you each month? People are saying it's impossible because they're seeing USD and assuming you live in the US.
Can you outline your expenses? That would help a lot.
¡Felicidades al bebé! Los niños son una bendición
Well the thing is I don’t really have any idea what our expenses will be.. All I can say is that I’ll make sure our expenses are kept to a minimum plus buying in bulk for necessities lol
Well that's what I'm saying - you need to go get some hard numbers now. You could probably ask around what people are paying for living expenses in your area. That's step one - make a list of everything you could potentially have to spend money on and then then start estimating how much each of those are.
Once you have done that - you can start making a plan for how you're going to pay for it all. It's doable but you can't just do it off of vague plans to buy in bulk and keep expenses down. If you actually want to succeed this is how it's done - you make a realistic plan and then you can make small adjustments as things change down the road.
You can absolutely do this! You just need to start making a budget now as your first course of action.
I had an accidental kid when I was 22, not ready and in school. I took every part time job in my field and out just to pay the bills. Once I graduated, I was set to get a career type job that paid better, benefits etc. I never went out with my friends, my life was providing (along with my GF when she was able). We had one car that we shared for work and worked different shifts at different employers so when she was working days (8am-4pm), I watched my son. When I went to work, I bussed it across the city to drop off my son to his mom and went to work 4-12pm, get home at 2am and then up at 6am to take care of my kid and repeat the process... in Canada, even during the winter.
Just be prepared to work at least that hard and re-wire your brain so that supporting your child is the number one priority. A lot of people take a long time to transition from their selfish teen phase to a conscientious adult (in theory, some can do it early while some never grow up) so be aware of that in yourself. I completely missed having a carefree 20s but after seeing my son grow to a responsible adult I don't regret it at all.
find a job that is relevant to computer science. Not sure what your GF study but she will need to plan for a break of \*at least\* 3 weeks to give birth, more like 2 month. I hope either side's parents can help take care of the baby. If not, keep asking! You can't do part-time, college and be a parent. That's mission impossible!
My weekend job is CompSci related and is a work from home kinda deal, so it's kinda perfect. I think it would be WAY optimistic to think I'll find a job in my area. That's why I'm looking into Car Mechanic, Carpentry, Construction. Those type of jobs are more likely to fall on my way.
PS: my gf studies and works in Architecture