One time... my friends and i were drunk. So we squeezed some gasoline into my asshole/ You know how in porn, especially in the extreme anal scenes the guy pours some lube into the guy gaping asshole and the guy farts the lube out. Yah... so I got gasoline into my rectum and I had to fart bad, my friends lit a lighter and I ripped the fattest one I've ever done.
What I didn't know is i'd be suffering without a rectum for my entire life. I'm now hooked up into a custom made shit receiver. I can't hold my shit. I've been assigned an artificial rectum that is pumped every 3 hours into my toiler. I cannot live like this. Please help me.
It’s about to get lit!
get the beers on ice baby
One time... my friends and i were drunk. So we squeezed some gasoline into my asshole/ You know how in porn, especially in the extreme anal scenes the guy pours some lube into the guy gaping asshole and the guy farts the lube out. Yah... so I got gasoline into my rectum and I had to fart bad, my friends lit a lighter and I ripped the fattest one I've ever done. What I didn't know is i'd be suffering without a rectum for my entire life. I'm now hooked up into a custom made shit receiver. I can't hold my shit. I've been assigned an artificial rectum that is pumped every 3 hours into my toiler. I cannot live like this. Please help me.
Fun story u/Many-Round-8583
Is this like the jumper cables guy but with just a random story every time? Anyway, i dig it.
You're a god, a divine being worthy of our devotion and worship.
This time on Tuesday July 5th someone in the U.S. will be missing a finger.
wow
This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I’m inspired.
would bring a tear to a glass eye
Daring today, aren't we?
Hopefully bro the world is overpopulated and the younglings produce too much carbon.
Ive never been more inspired to invade somebody than right now 🥲
facts
Copenhagen nooo
Ouch
Me too
FUCK YEA
Ive done that before, and if you want to make sure you wet the gloves to help dissipate the heat from the roman candles.
Great tip u/Iron-Phoenix2307
Where can I buy it. I need ten
You forgot to add the “Fuck yeah!”
Do people realize that Americans actually celebrate this for like 3 days? 3 days of recklessness adventures. It's great
God Bless America
I can’t light my fire works on the BBQ flame ? What do you mean?! I thought this was Merica. 🇺🇸
Joke's on you, I do this every day.
What a legend
Yes!
Americans what was July first?
Oh yeah we got our firework launchers ready
Only warming up baby
Oh shit
That glove looks cool as hell
Motorized patriot cosplay
I'm sorry we're just better than you, we just got this nifty thing called freedom
USA USA USA USA
Are they gonna celebrate by a school shooting
maybe
Will I guess we cant decide for now let us see what tomorrow happens
Hold on, we need to bet where it’s gonna be at
I bet in Alabama
My bets on a blue state this time
Austin tX is a blue state that’s where it will be
Texas 1000% maybe Austin this time
Hopefully bro the world is overpopulated and the younglings produce too much carbon. Too bad the 4th is on a Sunday 😩
On a Sunday?
….shit
You’re gd right!
I am a real American!
i’m prepping a hideout under my bed for both my dog and cat bc fireworks scare the shit out of them
Should make them a little bunker and soundproof it
Leaked footage of planetside 3?
i don't celebrate 4th of july
Well you goddamn should
Who needs healthcare when you got fireworks for arms.
fireworks are mental health care.
Inspiration
u/redditmp4bot
When I am school early and I get to see the school shooting.