T O P
Ok-Brilliant-1872

It’s about to get lit!


wagmiyo

get the beers on ice baby


[deleted]

One time... my friends and i were drunk. So we squeezed some gasoline into my asshole/ You know how in porn, especially in the extreme anal scenes the guy pours some lube into the guy gaping asshole and the guy farts the lube out. Yah... so I got gasoline into my rectum and I had to fart bad, my friends lit a lighter and I ripped the fattest one I've ever done. What I didn't know is i'd be suffering without a rectum for my entire life. I'm now hooked up into a custom made shit receiver. I can't hold my shit. I've been assigned an artificial rectum that is pumped every 3 hours into my toiler. I cannot live like this. Please help me.


wagmiyo

Fun story u/Many-Round-8583


Accomplished_Sir_861

Is this like the jumper cables guy but with just a random story every time? Anyway, i dig it.


pubgnub

You're a god, a divine being worthy of our devotion and worship.


Nesneros70

This time on Tuesday July 5th someone in the U.S. will be missing a finger.


ConnectionHonesty

wow


WhatdoIputhereVol2

This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I’m inspired.


wagmiyo

would bring a tear to a glass eye


TheSanityInspector

Daring today, aren't we?


ValuableArugular

Hopefully bro the world is overpopulated and the younglings produce too much carbon.


asogbolo

Ive never been more inspired to invade somebody than right now 🥲


wagmiyo

facts


IgorBaggins

Copenhagen nooo


DecktheHawls

Ouch


BOB_DA_LAPRAS

Me too


Ok-BoOmEr69_420

FUCK YEA


Iron-Phoenix2307

Ive done that before, and if you want to make sure you wet the gloves to help dissipate the heat from the roman candles.


wagmiyo

Great tip u/Iron-Phoenix2307


FingersJones

Where can I buy it. I need ten


Enderbirds

You forgot to add the “Fuck yeah!”


DecktheHawls

Do people realize that Americans actually celebrate this for like 3 days? 3 days of recklessness adventures. It's great


wagmiyo

God Bless America


Mr8291

I can’t light my fire works on the BBQ flame ? What do you mean?! I thought this was Merica. 🇺🇸


Modest_Ubermensch

Joke's on you, I do this every day.


wagmiyo

What a legend


[deleted]

Yes!


Im13butihatefortnite

Americans what was July first?


Awkward_Armadillo867

Oh yeah we got our firework launchers ready


wagmiyo

Only warming up baby


Blueblue1001

Oh shit


Colin8tor112

That glove looks cool as hell


deadcemajor

Motorized patriot cosplay


PostMadandAlone

I'm sorry we're just better than you, we just got this nifty thing called freedom


wagmiyo

USA USA USA USA


khaliliiiov_1997

Are they gonna celebrate by a school shooting


wagmiyo

maybe


khaliliiiov_1997

Will I guess we cant decide for now let us see what tomorrow happens


Potatatatatatatoe

Hold on, we need to bet where it’s gonna be at


khaliliiiov_1997

I bet in Alabama


Potatatatatatatoe

My bets on a blue state this time


[deleted]

Austin tX is a blue state that’s where it will be


[deleted]

Texas 1000% maybe Austin this time


[deleted]

Hopefully bro the world is overpopulated and the younglings produce too much carbon. Too bad the 4th is on a Sunday 😩


PeaFew6668

On a Sunday?


[deleted]

….shit


aintnojiveturkey53

You’re gd right!


wagmiyo

I am a real American!


__turtleduck__

i’m prepping a hideout under my bed for both my dog and cat bc fireworks scare the shit out of them


wagmiyo

Should make them a little bunker and soundproof it


Zachiyo

Leaked footage of planetside 3?


kidmmflash

i don't celebrate 4th of july


wagmiyo

Well you goddamn should


Exact_Patience_9767

Who needs healthcare when you got fireworks for arms.


TheRiseAndFall

fireworks are mental health care.


HumanThoughtProject

Inspiration


818Dude

u/redditmp4bot


sas_gg228

When I am school early and I get to see the school shooting.