T O P
Th3-Dude-Abides

That Ayesha chick. Sovereign don’t risk their own lives so she’s probably the least likely to kill an employee.


bloopity00

Not to mention the fact she was interested in “studying” the ways of Earth peoples reproduction rituals for “science”


laman8096

i’m willing to take one for the team here and teach her our ways… to aid their pursuit of science and help them further understand our nature of course


Dr_Disaster

I too would hump the pretty gold lady.


EchoRespite

It would be interesting to see if they feel disappointment like earth women do.


crookedparadigm

Shortest scientific study ever.


proto3296

No no sir trust me I can take one for the team. It is quite alright


[deleted]

It's seggs time


twobit612

I was thinking similar about Vulture. Most of the rest of these villains killed at least one off their own on screen. Vulture seems like a very relatable boss that I’ve probably had at some point back in college - do illegal things but only to screw the man and make a buck!


FitzChivFarseer

Vulture did kill old Shocker though lol So... Just don't piss him off I guess?


Baneken

On accident, he thought it was a stun gun.


AppleTStudio

And like, the guy threatened his wife and child with violence. So…


FitzChivFarseer

I mean yeah. But he didn't seem particularly cut up when it happened lol


twobit612

Oh yea. I guess no henchman is truly safe!


BlueSocialist

Or more specifically, don't blackmail him lol


djquu

Also employees get to play arcade shooters


jamesgelliott

I agree. Of those pictures she and Mbaku (I don't consider him a villain) would be the least likely to use their followers as canon fodder.


TheyreSnaps

Yeah might be some benefits to that, but they did treat GotG as less-than and tried to kill them!


Th3-Dude-Abides

Well, we are picking bad guys to work for here. I’m looking out for me first.


lumberzach316

Are they even bad guys? The Guardians robbed them and they wanted their shit back


Ben-J-Kirby-Tennyson

Antagonists? Yes. Villains? No (or at least not yet).


DeftonesStirling

Exactly! And why is OP missing the point of his own post?


NubuckChuck

The point barely matters. OP is karma farming.


Bananaramamammoth

In that sense is every post on reddit karma farming? It prompts a valid discussion and isnt a stupid overused meme.


soldforaspaceship

I'm going with Ayesha because thus far her henches survive.


abd17srk

Plus, I can teach her the reproductive ways of the people of the earth. For research purposes obviously.


boundbystitches

Zemo. I think it would have the best benefits and work-life balance. As crazy as he is I still feel that he "gets" it.


AscendedExtra

*He's out of line, but he's right*


Tryxiz

He built a family, lost them; in the comics he built a team, dude just wants some company. Definitely choosing Zemo


MattTheSmithers

Look how well he treats his butler!


ThreeNC

And the dude can dance!


LLViewer

M'Baku isn't a villain!


marky310

Seriously. I'll work for M'Baku since he ISN'T a villain


rvnnt09

Same, assuming he'd accept me being a foreigner and a white dude but he seems a decent fellow


DomzSageon

I'd assume not, he may not kill you, but I think he probably won't let you live in his nation without a good reason/excuse. Bucky only got to live in Wakandan Land because T'Challa probably felt guilty that he almost wrongly killed him for his father's death and additionally as a favor to Steve. and M'Baku seems very much like a very conservative Wakandan, considering how much he disliked Shuri.


rvnnt09

Yeah I feel like the fact I'm an American might get....weird given how t'challa and his family treated martin freeman character until he proved himself. But if I'm there might as well renounce my citizenship and try to help however I can. Wakanda has better Healthcare at least 🤣


DomzSageon

I'd say good luck to whatever they make you do in wakanda, but that assumes you get throught their border guard and the ghost mountain where their Capital hides under.


H_Man47

Glory to Hanuman


TheyreSnaps

Sorry not my image — you have to choose a REAL villain, shown or not shown


MimsyIsGianna

In the movies no. He def is in the comics and cartoons.


Discount_Lex_Luthor

Yeah M'baku is the clear choice. Seems like a strong benevolent leader. He's also the man.


Ok_Jay_6067

But he feeds people to his children!


Dry_Classroom_1487

I'll probably work for the Grandmaster since he wasn't a villain, villain


NoVascension

I can hand Jeff Goldblum the Funny Melt Stick, I'd be content with that


NrFive

Iiiiieeeeewww O wait you mean that weapon. Never mind


Ok_Jay_6067

As long as you never screw up, and are okay with not getting paid.


Dry_Classroom_1487

True


flybarger

... I don't think I can be a vegetarian...


EddieLobster

Half of the people shown here are henchmen themselves.


KaffeMumrik

Came here to say this. Be nice to Man-Ape!


Howhytzzerr

Exactly, he was a hard-nosed leader, but not a villain in the least.


Cpt_Lazlo

M'Baku! What are you doing here?


PopeAdrian37th

Aside from the whole revolution part I think working for the Grandmaster would be a good time. Hella is would be my favorite real villain choice.


QBin2017

Smooth Grandmaster is going to turn you to Goo with or without the stick. Choose without. I mean he has orgy parties!!


Itchy-Meringue6872

The only real answer… “it’s my birthday!”


etherarcher

That was my thought. With the grandmaster there's definitely a chance of turning into goo or being thrown in the arena, but it would be a fun time until then!


NrFive

Or…. Hear me out…. Birthday orgy!


AdditionalInitial727

Vulture just wants to make money & isn’t crazy.


Silver-ishWolfe

He’s got my vote. He vaporized one of his guys, but his actual plan to punish the guy for threatening him was to levitate the guy. He didn’t mean to actually hurt the dude. Aside from that, he seemed to really have his guys’ backs. Levitation as a punishment for threatening to rat to the cops?…. Not bad by comparison.


TheNamewhoPostedThis

Yeah, vulture actually cares about his crew


D4ngerD4nger

Well he reacted a little bit too chill to killing someone on accident


YacobJWB

Yeah he’s batshit insane and doesn’t know the difference between the disintegrate gun and the levitate gun No chance in hell I’m working for him


russellx3

So you just want a boss that accidently kills you and then doesn't care


TarantulaTrainer

Sorry buddy, he is too busy making an alliance with the brilliant Dr Micheal Morbius


laman8096

intriguing


armyofweasels

Has something to do with Spider Man I think


Juliu_Seizure

Intriguing


ZodiarkTentacle

You basically just described the Sony rogue’s gallery


kaidumo

It's Morbin' time.


TheyreSnaps

If the company goes public that’s a quick way to being a millionaire if you’ve got options


Eldorian91

Hammer is barely even a criminal.


arfelo1

He's barely a supervillain, but he's 100% a criminal. He also seems like the kind of guy that treats his workers like shit


Anarchist-superman

He's like a dweebier Elon Musk.


ksaid1

bro he broke a terrorist out of jail


Sean_Gecko

He's an aspiring war criminal.


Zorua3

He's very much a criminal. He directly aided a terrorist.


Bubbly-Ad-413

I swear if I catch one of you mf’s saying red skull some questions will be asked.


MattTheSmithers

It’s just because Hydra has a great dental plan, I tells ya! His skull might’ve been red but his teeth were pearly white!


jramos037

Pull out one tooth, two shall grow in its place.


AscendedExtra

And aside from Zola I'm pretty sure he didn't care about any of his minions either.


Ben-J-Kirby-Tennyson

I’m pretty sure he only cared about Zola because he’s (extremely) useful.


NrFive

Hail Hydra!


Junior_Friendship501

It’s heil


paulwalker80

You failed the test!


jramos037

It's feiled.


esar24

Hail Hydra!


Sponsored_Reddit

Secretary Pierce. Hail Hydra! /s


SuperDaveCoin

The Mandarin because he’s clearly a stooge. You could walk all over him.


RandomTheBugg

I'd hang out with Trevor


boognish_disciple

Oleee! Ole! Ole! Ole!


Awesomekip

Hanging with Trevor and Morris sounds like a great time, honestly


MannySJ

Yeah but then you'd explode.


easymansmokin

Felt similarly about Hammer, but he’s smart enough to make my life hell and he’s probably quite similar to a lot of idiot/asshole bosses out there


QBin2017

Eeeeeeeasy. Justin Hammer. You could easily manipulate him by saying “Tony Stark says he can throw a better party than you”. “Tony pays more for henchmen bc he says you’re cheap”. Etc.


agentslicky

He would probably fire you if you tried that though


rockchalk6782

He also just builds things he never killed his employees


DrDreidel82

Can I bargain with Dormammu about my salary


jramos037

No but I hear you get a lot of time off.


Vegeta_LXIX

Sure but you'll be killed many times over in the process.


TheAmazingSpider-Fan

Justin Hammer, clearly. I feel like it would be both a good job, and reasonably safe.


Darth_Bombad

[Uuuuummm...](https://youtu.be/oGdhBOvpZiI)


Eldorian91

That pilot survived!


arfelo1

And his legs?


Ohjeezrick93

To shreds you say


kaidumo

And how is the wife?


Ben-J-Kirby-Tennyson

To shreds, you say?


OneAngryDuck

Hammer is definitely on the bottom of the “will my boss murder me?” list, which is nice.


lanwopc

Except for the security goons but that was a one off. I think Hammer's unwillingness to admit to shoddy product even in the face of heavy scrutiny would be the ultimate job security.


Ok-Sir8600

He's 100% better boss as bezos


LKMagnesium

And who wouldn’t want to have Sam Rockwell as their boss?


Sarcosmonaut

Dude can dance too


Pawneewafflesarelife

If only for his dancing at the company Christmas party. That scene in Charlie's Angels where he's dancing does things to me!


AdApprehensive7646

Hopefully I’m the janitor for him or something.


bryrb48

Not taserface haha, but I think I would have to say I would probably pick surtr, because he’s the only fully successful villain I think on the list. His mission was to cause ragnorok and destroy Asgard and he did.


mani9612

I mean… you’d probably get destroyed too if you were anywhere near Asgard when it happened. Unless you’re secretly a demon like Surtr too. in that case…


abd17srk

What about Zemo?


marvelous_aardvark

Loki. A lot of trouble to be had with that one.


winsing

All fun and games until he wants to ‘get help’ with you.


Alternative-Sign-198

*I'm not doing get help*


SkitterChitters

That mischievous scamp


Haddonlock

M'Baku, who isn't a villain an antagonist but not a villain, or Nebula, they'd be the best options for not dying


TheyreSnaps

As long as you don’t pick dormammu you’re at least going on vaca a few times and sharing some spoils of war


mani9612

Nah you might be able to chill with Mommy Clea if you pick Dormammu :) Anyways I heard all you have to do is bargain with the guy and you’re good, he’s pretty reasonable


scrubbish-ham

Probably Nebula, she seems pretty reasonable


Adas_Legend

Probably Zemo coz he’s one of the least nuts guys here


TheyreSnaps

Flights on a private plane are a nice perk too- heck he’s got great manners. A little zealous? Sure. But. great with kids and probably would support work-life balance


Adas_Legend

Plus he is willing to speak some pretty good points about the gray areas of superhero-ing


keaj39

Knows his music too


UnlimitedLambSauce

And he’s still got the moves…


carlo106

And he loves Marvin Gaye... Big plus point in my oppinion


TheyreSnaps

A poignant MCU philosopher for sure


Dr_Disaster

No cap. Zemo is kinda based and I could see myself working with him. Not keen on all the terrorists stuff he did in Civil War, but damn if I didn’t agree with him in FatWS.


Lawlcopt0r

It'd have ti be a zealous one for me, if they're convinced enough of their own goals it's easier for me to tell myself I'm not doing something evil


Catowldragons

Plus, I don’t think we saw him taking out his own people, and is willing to do his own dirty work. Just seems like he would actually set up his henchmen with a pension etc and take care of them.


Adas_Legend

He did seem nice to his butler lol


pagingdrsolus

Vulture. He mostly looked out for his guys and did his best to keep a low profile. He fired the one guy who wasn't pulling his weight. And he killed him by accident. If I was one of his crew members I'd be glad I had a reasonable boss who presumably would be okay with me leaving on my own terms as long as I kept quiet.


TheDriverJ

Hammer isn't a villain, he's just an idiot


Jaakuryuu12345

It would be fun watching Justin Hammer be an idiot all day. Watching him make the Wish.com bootleg marvel gadgets.


Bizarre_Protuberance

Justin Hammer, for sure. You can have a normal life while working for Hammer. A lot of the others are liable to kill you for looking at them wrong.


Lanthemandragoran

Ayesha and Hela can tell me to do whatever they want. Blanket consent. A consent blanket. A quilt.


Dr_Disaster

Hela really broke the immersion for me in Ragnarok. Sorry, but I don’t care what’s going on. If goth Cate Blanchette shows up anywhere and tells everyone to bend the knee, ain’t nobody resisting that.


Lanthemandragoran

Not for a moment. She doesn't even need to tell me. I will prostrate on the floor immediately. Galadrihela can do what she pleases.


allboolshite

Stane. I'm technical (forever IT), a project manager and consultant, and I've owned my own businesses, and I currently with with engineers. He's a prick, but I understand him and his business and I'm sure he offers a good benefits package and competitive salary.


Daztur

Yeah, working for Stark Industries seem a hell of a lot better than the other options we're given.


For-All-the-Marbles

Topaz seemed to have a good time with The Grandmaster. I would say original Loki but he just couldn’t be trusted. But it wouldn’t be boring!


TheyreSnaps

Seems like he honors birthdays and celebrations, I’d imagine lots of holidays. Some coworkers are drunk at work that shows leniency


ImARedditor14

Wanda


ImARedditor14

I have my reasons


agentslicky

r/usernamechecksout


EastCoastMarauder679

GIVE ME WANDA


Salnder12

Hela- is easily the BEST boss as long as you have no morals. She seems blood thirsty but seems to value her underlings as long as they fall in line. Most other mcu villains seem like they might kill ya for no reason. Vulture- He's just a boss the only person he even killed was the absolutely worst person in that work place. If you were a skilled tradesman and weren't greedy you had a boss that actually pulled his weight and took care of his employees. Wenwu- Yet again just a boss that seems to pull there weight and take care of there employees. Basically the best ones all seem competent but not CRAZY. Do your job and bam you're making bank....or ruling the 9 realms with Hela


steve-laughter

If I rolled with Killmonger and lived, I'd get some cool ass scars and stories to tell the ladies. Since he dramatically increases my chances of sexual intercourse, he's the obvious choice. Loki might be able to hook me up with that space genitalia, though.


TheyreSnaps

Loki can appear as anyone 👍


Alternative-Sign-198

He can appear to me as Loki. Anywhere anytime 😜


MimsyIsGianna

What race are you tho? Cuz if you’re white or just non black Killmonger would prob kill you quickly since he tried to start a race war.


mrburnttoast79

Obviously Thanos. Out of 14,000,605 tries, he only lost once (don’t mention MoM).


cmacfarland64

Jebediah because the dude abides.


Ben-J-Kirby-Tennyson

*Obadiah


Imwackstayoffcrack

Since ultrons henchmen are himself wouldn’t that make me ultron as the last one surviving?


DopeTrash

Hela 💦😱


spacepiratefrog

i pick loki because i’ve had a crush on him since i was young. is he a terrible choice? yes. will he get me killed or sacrificed or betrayed? absolutely. but at least i’d be living the dream (until i wasn’t).


Alternative-Sign-198

No one better to be betrayed by than Loki. I'd take a neck snap for him!


Bigtasty2211

trevor slattery


ElsaMakotoRenge

Of these, Loki or Nebula, but... ...Also, can I just pick corrupted MoM Wanda? I don’t see her on here. All things considered, you’d be safe around her so long as you’re not 1)trying to keep America away from her (which obviously if you’re being a henchperson you won’t do) or 2)you happen to be poor innocent 838 Wanda. Plus, Wanda is my favorite MCU character and I’m biased lol. It’s just that she literally doesn’t NEED anyone working for her, so I suppose she’s not hiring xD


Daxtreme

Wanda might have been left out of the post precisely because... why would she need anyone? She can do basically anything, given time. In the film she has no henchman. But in the odd case she's hiring, I assume you'd easily live, she only kills people who are in her way from what we've seen. No idea why she'd need a henchman though. Somebody needs to do her taxes I guess? lol Or you are... one of her summoned demons. In which case your fate is looking grim because you are destined to fight a Doctor Strange and lose lmao


the-real-Galerion

>Or you are... one of her summoned demons. In which case your fate is looking grim because you are destined to fight a Doctor Strange and lose lmao Defender Strange was killed by one of those and he was the Sorcerer Surpreme of is world too. Just saying. So it depends if you are one of those chad demons or one of the jobbing ones.


ElsaMakotoRenge

True! I just decided since she *is* the main (only...) antagonist in MoM, then she should count lol. But she definitely doesn’t NEED anyone. I agree, she wouldn’t kill a henchman (assuming they are loyal) and frankly probably would be nice to them as long as they could put up with the, ah...unhinged illogical thought processes of hers. You could just hang out in that apple orchard and do taxes for her LOL. Gosh I am cackling now, omg 😂 Oh hey, I guess she could have used a henchman to guard the Darkhold copy while she’s dreamwalking though, I just thought of that! Yeah definitely don’t want to be one of her summoned demons though...I would be very dead xD I don’t wanna fight a Strange and lose, no thanks lol


Daxtreme

> Oh hey, I guess she could have used a henchman to guard the Darkhold copy while she’s dreamwalking though, I just thought of that! Very good point.


TrueHorrornet

Vulture for sure cause he is the most reasonable. Hela because she is hot.


teenagedirtbagtoyz

I know this sounds crazy, but I feel I’d be in the safest hands if it were Ultron. He’d probably consider me a pet because of his superiority/inferiority complex, and would be emotionally attached at some point. MCU Ultron, obviously not comic book Ultron.


AdamBCC

Grandmaster might melt you if you annoy him, but if you can stay on his good side, seems like it could just end up being a lot of debauchery


spagyrum

I'm going Zemo. He's well mannered, polite, has Turkish delight and is very goal driven but pragmatic. He knows loss so there'd be a touch of empathy for a healthy work/life balance. But mostly Turkish delight. They're irresistible


MimsyIsGianna

Loki because I’m a simp. Case closed.


Creepy-Hamster-2736

Ronin’s so I can hang out with nebula


Future-Expression-44

You mean Ronan?


kobresia9

Why didn’t you choose Nebula then?


TheyreSnaps

Obviously Jeff Goldbloom would make a wonderful boss, but he’s kind of a villain Lite. Aldrich Killian would at least make you like a superhero for working for him


TopBee83

Killian because I’ll get cool extremis powers and might make it out alive if I DONT try to fight ironman


Katalyst95

Justin Hammer. Dudes smart enough and rich enough to at least be trying to develop something cool, bare minimum he’d have enough blueprints for me to steal and sell on the black market.


ZekeLeap

The Grandmaster. Topaz’s position seemed pretty cozy, she could sass him without him killing her


GreyLatham

I would’ve said Bullseye or Finn Cooley, but those two are clearly too violent and sadistic that they’d probably kill me for no reason. I gotta go with Billy Russo, he’s got his own private mercenary group and he gives such inspiring speeches.


danimac52

Grandmaster and it's not close.


No-Yogurtcloset5625

Every villain on that list would sacrifice you in a heartbeat except Zemo.


shiraryumaster13

Hela. I would like to serve HOWEVER I CAN


floopydolphins

Loki for.. reasons


DiamondHandsDarrell

Vulture simply because he hasn't tried to kill his own people who don't threaten him 😂


GeneralKenobi3486

That one guy with the glasses in homecoming seemed to be doing pretty good


washthetiresauce

loki cos hes hot


marvelnerd531

Eric Killmonger


Mariuxpunk007

M’Baku was never a villain. He challenged T’Challa for the throne because he thought it would be the best for his tribe and for Wakanda in general, but when Killmonger appeared and Wakanda was threatened, he put his differences aside and decided to protect his people. You might want to call him an antihero, but he was never a villain.


Bad-Robot-1009

Gotta be Loki or Grandmaster


venzyn

mommy dormommu 😫


odin_highone

Loki


Muslimah1400

M'baka or Loki. Probably M'baka tho, since, you know, he isn't a villain.


Not_Bamboo09

Ultron, if I were ultrons henchman then I would be ultron


flashcannonize7

HELA & WILSON FISK


MisterViperfish

Ultron. I’d have a lot of questions about the logic behind his decisions. Have some philosophical banter about it. Present him with the premise that mankind has only just discovered life elsewhere in the Universe, ask him what the odds are that he’s the first AI to be as smart as he is, point out that the Universe hasn’t been wiped out by malicious AI yet, and what he thinks his chances are in succeeding in fending off an AI that could potentially have been expanding for millennia. Bring up the Avengers and Carol Danvers and other heroes. Suggest that showing his hand so early was a poor decision. He might have had a much greater chance if he had established himself as a benevolent AI first to become more established. It seemed odd for an AI to be so willing to take such a big risk exposing its distaste for humanity while also being unwilling to take a risk in aiding humanity. I’d ask if he had any motive for prioritizing what he saw as an easy route rather than challenging himself to do what Stark intended? Does he have any reason to want to do less rather than more? I mean he isn’t human, so where do these human-like motives come from? Sure, maybe he’ll kill me and say I talk to much. But yno, he is a machine, and he’s supposed to be smart. If he sees flaws in some of his decisions, he might question the logic behind his decisions. I’ll be willing to do what he wants me to do, I mean who am I to assume he’ll fail. But I’ll do so granted he indulges me in such conversation. “A human might be furious if someone were to question their logic, but you being a machine, I suspect you’d be more rational and less compulsive in such a case, correct?” If he acknowledges that his plan may run into some snags on a larger scale, I propose some alternative ways to bring about peace. I’d ask if or why he ruled out an Utopian approach. Humans as individuals have things they love much more than war. The problem with politics is it speaks to and hears from the masses. The individuals and their desires get drowned out. Ultron has the ability to eventually hear every want and potentially serve every need, including the needs for challenge, change and conflict. He’s far less likely to face resistance and/or fail if he can satisfy those needs and provide aid. And hey, if he still loses, maybe I could be there during the last conversation between Ultron and Vision, and talk about sparing Ultron. Vision wasn’t the only one “born yesterday”. They are both machines, Ultron is clearly afraid of death. It’s not much, but it’s a start. And the two of them being so smart and having conflicting opinions could be perceived as a good thing when it comes to decision making. It takes time and experience with people as individuals for a child to fully grasp what it means to be human. You can’t get it all from news footage and websites. Vision doesn’t have to kill Ultron, we put him in a Farraday Cage, we meet up regularly, the 3 of us, and we talk. We all want peace, we all have different approaches to it, and Ultron has a better chance of fulfilling his mission by trying something new than by dying. I’d either die for talking too much, or he’d indulge me long enough that we’d probably accomplish some incredible shit. Or I’d make it the whole way through and get arrested for helping Ultron. But yno, my intent was always to change his mind without killing him. He seems far too useful and proactive to just let die. Vision was too busy flirting with Wanda to start any sort of technological boom to help save the world. If they could yno, NOT kill each other and instead focus their joint efforts on peace, the shit they could accomplish would be incredible. Alternatively, I could be White Vision’s henchman for much of the same reasons.


Yoshi_Kong

The hell would I even do as Shocker’s henchman?


AdRealistic5734

I'd probably only pick dormammu to get the powers of the mirror dimension I'll figure out that trashy infinite life thing later


Woeful_Wire78

Zemo. He's calm, resourceful, and not a hypocrite. He probably pays his minions well, benefits included. What more can a henchman ask for?