T O P
MedicatedAxeBot

Dank[.](https://i.imgur.com/3bQtuMO.png) --- *i am a bot. please stop trying to argue with me. you look like an idiot. [join our discord](https://discord.gg/dankmemes).*


SpongeRobTheKing

This man does not fear death. ​ Death fears him


GANDALFthaGANGSTR

Death is his gimped up beeotch.


DeadliftsAndDragons

Death is pretty fuckin’ far from ok.


[deleted]

[удалено]


poopellar

Warning. User above is a comment bot. It copied [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/dankmemes/comments/qqopb6/i_am_spiiiid/hk1s4ae/) comment from below. It added 3 periods to avoid spam detection I think. Use the report button. Use below link as well to report it. https://www.reddit.com/report?reason=this-is-spam&utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=usertext&utm_name=BotDefense&utm_content=t5_28z6tw


tedrlordvxcaa

Same to you


VampireBatman

Death is going to need to wait for him to sleep like it did with Teddy Roosevelt.


Shiningcrow

Blessed comment


Pookmeister_

Avoiding Death speedrun WR any%


ArizonaDesertChild

This man is definitely winning Squid Games! #001


Calboron

He flip death with his flops


pinton96

Chuck Norris: “Finally, a worthy opponent! Our fight will be legendary !”


spoon_full

Is that Xi Jinping?


[deleted]

-10000000 social credit


mike_loves_memes

Off to Xinjiang


FuzzyLittlePenguin

Off to the incubators in Kuwait.


ProBlade97

Why would it be negative, doesn’t it show how greatly balanced our wonderful leader is?


Shia_Surprisee

+149 social credit score -419 freedom score


DarthIronZino1010

Don't you mean burger tickets


LordCourgette

Taiwan


k_u_r_o_r_o

What is this "Taiwan" you speak of?


yo_frnd

+69 credits


Pornhub-CEO

nice


Galaxy01500

China is a village


amohogride

I think he means taiwan province.


Victoria_III

+15 social credits. Good work citizen, the Chinese Communist Party thanks you for your service.


therobloxianchris

You mean the real china


ZebraEuWest

taiwan is only the name of the island


ares9000

Surely you meant Chinese Taipei *angry Winnie the pooh noises*


ComprehensiveLeg9501

I fucking knew somebody would make this joke and I was right


Affectionate_Gate_26

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢁⠈⢻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⡀⠭⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣷⣶⣶⡆⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣼⣿⣿⠿⠶⠙⣿⡟⠡⣴⣿⣽⣿⣧⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣟⣭⣾⣿⣷⣶⣶⣴⣶⣿⣿⢄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣩⣿⣿⣿⡏⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⡋⠘⠷⣦⣀⣠⡶⠁⠈⠁⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⠃⣴⣶⡔⠒⠄⣠⢀⠄⠄⠄⡨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡘⠿⣷⣿⠿⠟⠃⠄⠄⣠⡇⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⢁⣷⣠⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣾⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠻ ⡿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡯⢓⣴⣾⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⡟⣷⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ATTENTION CITIZEN! 市民请注意! This is the Central Intelligentsia of the Chinese Communist Party. 您的 Internet 浏览器历史记录和活动引起了我们的注意。 YOUR INTERNET ACTIVITY HAS ATTRACTED OUR ATTENTION. 因此,您的个人资料中的 11115 ( -11115 Social Credits) 个社会积分将打折。 DO NOT DO THIS AGAIN! 不要再这样做! If you do not hesitate, more Social Credits ( -11115 Social Credits )will be subtracted from your profile, resulting in the subtraction of ration supplies. (由人民供应部重新分配 CCP) You'll also be sent into a re-education camp in the Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Zone. 如果您毫不犹豫,更多的社会信用将从您的个人资料中打折,从而导致口粮供应减少。 您还将被送到新疆维吾尔自治区的再教育营。 为党争光! Glory to the CCP!


Imapringlesboy

I really like the use of the word *Intelligentsia*


[deleted]

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Akumetsu33

Imagine the look on hipsters' faces surrounded by guns when they stroll in the main HQ demanding coffee.


iwatchanime101

Lmao


Gubbyfall

Yes, and he is on his way to get your social credit.


CriticismZestyclose1

YESSS, The PRESIDENT IS A MAN OF MANY TALENTS


SweetRabbit

President?


Firemorfox

Xi Jumping


Lobotomized_Cunt

Comedy gold


KaintOnlineName

No that's winnie the pooh


Secure_Hunt2792

No that’s Winnie the Pooh, but i understand why you’d be confused!


blastradii

Jinping Xi


SleepDeprivedUserUK

Hey, when you're making my next phone in a sweatshop, can you include a cleaning cloth. Cheers!


Gene-Amazing

But it’s really a resort in China.


lewinjoel01

Bro, I was asking me the same question


International_Fact54

It doesn't look that hard until you see the other people's struggle


user_bits

Helps to have an entire course to yourself.


00wolfer00

It barely does. Sure he wouldn't be able to do it if someone is stuck in the middle, but at the same time people get stuck becaues they can't do it like him.


ZerofZero

Depends on why you think they can’t do it like him.


MegaEyeRoll

Something Something white T.


ZerofZero

Idk what that means


WifiWaifo

It means their shirts aren't Asian.


BootyInspector96

I’m even more confused now


genuinelyinterested9

I slang in my white tee, I bang in my white tee All in the club spittin game in my white tee I bling in my white tee, serve fiends in my white tee Fuck a throwback I look clean in my white tee


squanch_solo

It's all in the flip flops.


FirelessEngineer

Having done a high ropes course once, I consider myself a professional on this topic. I did the same course twice (I openly admitted I was not fit enough for the hard course), the first time I went slow and it was super hard the second time I ran and this obstacle was much easier. If you stop/slow down the steps start swinging, if you keep moving you don’t get the chance to start swinging and throw off your balance.


[deleted]

Yeah, I have done similar and more difficult courses than this. You have to move fast enough that there isn't time for things to start swinging.


CrabSully

Yeah he makes it look way easier than it would be. This is interesting though as it shows being careful makes it harder


PhiloPhrog

I think grabbing the chain makes it worse because it manipulates the tension and causes the logs to roll. When he does it everything is at his feet.


deedee07_

And then you notice they're all women (/s you fcking normies)


Bipolar_Buddha

The other people have smaller beams they have to balance on and have to deal with crowding and swing from others. You can see there’s an “easy” course just past the man with wide flat beams and the harder course that more people are on as it zooms out.


whskid2005

I could be wrong but the chains also look to be the perfect length on his course, and slightly longer on the hard course. My thinking is more chain allows for more swing. Totally just thinking out loud here and am most likely wrong


PatrykCXXVIII

Though speedrunners spend 100s of hours on that "40h game" to develop the tactics and skills for speedrunning, so yeah... They spend more time with the game than people playing "normally".


LuminosaGamer

On one game yea but if it's similar their skills carry over. For example dark souls series


coptician

A great recent example is Metroid Dread. That game is already quite broken and the strategies are already very complex.


Blunderhorse

Aside from the tutorial EMMI skip an a few instances of shooting through walls, is it all that broken? A lot of what I’ve seen has involved people flawlessly executing maneuvers that are part of the game’s normal moveset (despite the fact that half of the Speed Booster functions are not described in the description ).


TheSoupKitchen

People are now able to get screw attack VERY early and the basically break the game to go into hot or cold rooms without needing Varia Suit. Shooting through walls early was just the beginning, now it has major glitches and the time is looking more and more like sub 1:10 is possible. Last I saw its down to 1:20 but it could be even lower already. Though I do hope the game gets major and minor glitches sorted out, as I personally think major glitches aren't as entertaining to watch.


LogicalEmotion7

Yeah, while some sequence breaks are clearly intended as alternative routes for replayers (screw attack before fighting the experiment, bombs before Kraid), the shooting through/vanishing into walls thing is something I could see being patched. But Metroid is very speedrun friendly, so I doubt they would do anything unless it crashed the game


assakura

[Sub 1:11](https://twitter.com/karterfreak/status/1458263903062921221) was just done actually. So 1:10 shouldn't be too far off I think.


Own-Sprinkles-6831

The skills may carry over slightly for a small small handful of games, but if you think you're gonna just start busting out good spread runs on a dark souls game because you've played a different dark souls game you're an idiot.


_TurtleX

I think his point is that it won't be time spent learning to play but time spent learning the route instead.


c1ng3d

Yeah, but along that route if you don’t know how to execute a glitch or strategy you’re gonna have to spend time learning. Like I’ve played ds3 over 500 hours and can pretty regularly do the tree jump and Abyss Watchers skip. That’s like 1/1000th of the know how and practice needed, but yeah I get your point. I also didn’t spend nearly any of those 500 hours practicing as these are fairly easy to pull off.


ThunderBuns935

well kind off, but not really. I run any% Bloodborne, and I'm good at the other souls games, but I wouldn't be able to run DS3 for example. I'd still have to spend hours learning the proper route. getting really good at it would still take longer than it takes people to beat the game once.


wolf9786

I never speed ran before really but I tried and would also use alot of skills they use. The result is every game I play I'm abusing any and all movement mechanics the game I'm currently playing happens to have


xenwall

Or in the case of SMB1 they spend *thousands* of hours on a 5 *minute* game.


elephantologist

Someone has to do the work but after that others can just look it up.


thepandabro

Is that winnie the pooh?


FabulaXXVII

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢁⠈⢻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⡀⠭⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣷⣶⣶⡆⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣼⣿⣿⠿⠶⠙⣿⡟⠡⣴⣿⣽⣿⣧⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣟⣭⣾⣿⣷⣶⣶⣴⣶⣿⣿⢄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣩⣿⣿⣿⡏⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⡋⠘⠷⣦⣀⣠⡶⠁⠈⠁⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⠃⣴⣶⡔⠒⠄⣠⢀⠄⠄⠄⡨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡘⠿⣷⣿⠿⠟⠃⠄⠄⣠⡇⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⢁⣷⣠⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣾⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠻ ⡿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡯⢓⣴⣾⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⡟⣷⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ATTENTION CITIZEN! 市民请注意! This is the Central Intelligentsia of the Chinese Communist Party. 您的 Internet 浏览器历史记录和活动引起了我们的注意。 YOUR INTERNET ACTIVITY HAS ATTRACTED OUR ATTENTION. 因此,您的个人资料中的 11115 ( -11115 Social Credits) 个社会积分将打折。 DO NOT DO THIS AGAIN! 不要再这样做! If you do not hesitate, more Social Credits ( -11115 Social Credits )will be subtracted from your profile, resulting in the subtraction of ration supplies. (由人民供应部重新分配 CCP) You'll also be sent into a re-education camp in the Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Zone. 如果您毫不犹豫,更多的社会信用将从您的个人资料中打折,从而导致口粮供应减少。 您还将被送到新疆维吾尔自治区的再教育营。 为党争光! Glory to the CCP!


thepandabro

Oufff


apfqwfzn

PAPERS!


LasyKuuga

My man doing it in slider sandals as well. Not only is he speed running he's doing it with a handicap


linuis12

unlikely the sandals are a handy cap since they seem to bend with his foot around the wood, unlike regular shoes which create very small points of balance


Jackal_Files

He's creating a new sexual archetype!


stygian_chasm

Look at how sexfully he *scoots*


umijuvariel

I love everything about this comment.


TenaciousJP

Xi truly is the ‘fastest Mario’


Leather_Mirror_1673

Winnie :D


Born_Bobcat_248

Unless the pond is less than a foot deep, why the fuck would you try this with a fucking backpack?


dave-train

It's probably less than a foot deep.


casperdewith

Not to be a jerk or anything, but do you know how much speedrunners practice? They could easily reach those forty hours in a single day.


DuccBoii

Say that again, but slowly


casperdewith

It’s a meme if you haven’t caught it: practicing forty hours a day.


DuccBoii

ah ok nvm


[deleted]

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KCCCellist

He’s right tho, if you can say it slowly you can say it quickly


[deleted]

Look . Winnie The Xi master of Speedrunner


Paladin_Pineapple

Yoo he looks very familiar


half-breed

He's got good balance. I'm currently working on finding my centre on a balancing board. Easier said than done!


SmallSeesaw3363

Oh look it's Winnie the Pooh


Gangsterman1000

It looks like that winnie the pooh mascot from china


PanPrasatko

Swiggity swooty I am comming for dat booty.


girthking42069

Xi Jinping on his way to visit his Uighur concentration camps


ClowxReed

Speedrunners play the games thousands of hours to finish the game in 0.15 seconds.


MaG_NITud3

Unless it's Celeste


Barlowan

That's why he is the president.


i_muru

I was thinking about why so many in the radical left participate in "speedrunning" The reason is the left's lack of work ethic ('go fast' rather than 'do it right') and, in a Petersonian sense, to elevate alternative sexual archetypes in the marketplace ('fastest mario') 1/14


Sultahid

Lol wasn't this a tweet somewhere? That's hilarious


Tbone139

> I think, in a way, the role of the speedrunner is, like, the exact opposite of the role of the game designer. The game designer painstakingly carves a beautiful sculpture out of wood, first chiselling it out of a raw block, and then gradually rounding off any rough edges, making sure it works when it's viewed from any angle. The speedrunner takes that sculpture and they look it over, carefully, from top to bottom, from every angle, and deeply understand it, and they appreciate all the work that went into the design, all of the strengths, all of the weak points... and then, having understood it perfectly... they break it over their knee. \- Bennett Foddy, reacting to a speedrun of Getting Over It with Bennett Foddy


williewill19

Don’t you guys get tired of the same posts over and over again? This was on the front page, it has cycled through every mega-sub, used by all the karma fuck accounts, and now y’all are sending it to the front page again? Like, it’s not even a new video. THERE IS NEWER AND BETTER CONTENT, PEOPLE. You just need to look somewhere *other* than Reddit to find posts to steal. That or make OC like a cool person would.


CRODEN95

That speedrunner will manage to get 5000 hours of gameplay out of a 40 hour game


Heck_Spawn

He's at least 4 alternate universes ahead of us...


Far_Cloud_8610

bingus


MisterIce99

I am sure it's those magic shoes


Nervous_Imagination1

Try legend of zelda ocarona of time


Nitemarex

Winnie the Pooh at it again


radkoolaid

The dude is wearing flippy floppies 😳


williesurvive777

This is an astounding athlete-level display of balance


Zilli341

Why is that girl doing this with a backpack? Is she that confident she won't fall in the water?


Xbxbxb123

They spend thousands of hours on the game to figure out routing and practice getting that 30 minute time though, so they're still getting their money's worth Edit: I should have looked, people already said this


flying_mouse_

i remember a game i played for the first few times took like a week to finish and now i finish it in just a few hours


myne

[Logs done quick](https://youtu.be/VpiNDxssUL0)


Dankmaster619

Is that Zhong Xina?


Fresh-Land1105

Didn't know Xi Jinpig was a speedrunner!


novayhulk14

Seeing the guy walking on the water would be more similar to many speedruns


hiyamynameisjeff

u/savevideobot


nezuko697269

And someone said men can’t walk in heels😂


wlstvcast

Maybe It's give you Jos feeling..!


wolf129

Usually speed runners play the game they are running also normally without skips because they also enjoy the story and the characters.


Minignoux

Xi Jinping! The best in every domains!


TheOneTrueBool

Doing it in flip flops like a Chad.


BOBCHAN123

who is this man? how can i learn this power?


SmokeyAmp

I know it's a meme, but this is actually a common argument. Like people think speedrunners just picked up the game and started running it, missing all the content. Not the fact that they've played the game so much that they became interested in running it, and certainly not the fact that they will definitely play the game for thousands more hours than a regular player during their time speedrunning it.


deadshot2000005

"Starts playing dream speed run music"


poopiginabox

Damnnnn xi jin ping still got the moves


BoringWozniak

What a powerful alternative sexual archetype


SodiumBoy7

Buys the game, 29 minutes later ask for refund Game devs: :/


Environmental_Pen493

Is that chiniese President?


Fried_Rice24

But if he misses a step itll hurt more than an ingame death


the2xstandard

Going to shamelessly plug; I believe FF7 is now at under 6.5 hours with some fucking insane speedtech discovered in the last few years. There are also many advancements in the FFX run. Definitely check out some runners of those games on twitch in the background sometime.


Argobabu

F


hoodha

I'm no expert on these things, but I'd hazard a guess and say that the speed of his steps and not holding the chains is actually helping him here.


supl1an

yeah, but to get that fast in a game speedrunners spend way more hours than a regular player who plays it once from start to end.


MrsLydKnuckles

Is that Elon Musk?


M3zceta

When you hear, that there is free beer


Sherool

Actual speedrunners generally spend thousands of hours learning every inch of the game inside out first so not really. If you meant people who just race down the main quest ignoring all side content then maybe.


matraquilho12

Speedrunners probably end up spending more time in those games than the casual gamer. So it is what it is.


Indianlookalike

As if there is such a game. It is probably a open world game and there is at least 10 useless missions in the main quest line.


patstoddard

Bawkbasoup


E115lement

I think I forgot how to play RE games normally


Voodoo-Goose

Winnie the pooh is having a wonderful time


ScottBradley4_99

Why does this look like Mike Stoklasa?


rishinator

Welcome YOU ABSOLUTE LEGENDS..


pazardan

Xi Xinping stepping on Uighurs and Tibeteans like


ZippZappZippty

But he owned the libs, am I right


FizzlePopBerryTwist

The trick is to NOT clutch the chains out of fear. What you think it giving you stability is actually just adding to the chaos beneath your feet.


Beginning_Run_588

Well he does have tactical slippers


Betterthanfriends

Far cry: everytime i play.


Basic-Needleworker36

Imagine how long it took speed runners to get to that point.


22TheMorgue

Ready!? Annnnd step 234! 1234! 1234! 1234!


Budgiebrain222

As someone training for a job in applications and game development, I actively look for people to attempt speedrunning my game so I can make it more difficult


getdatazzbanned

Lol and then there was baten Kaitos. The ultimate middle finger from developers to speedrunners. The shortest 100% Speedrun is 341 hours. Lmao Sauce: https://www.speedrun.com/baten_kaitos_eternal_wings_and_the_lost_ocean/run/pydo1kvz


Krynzo

He knows it'll only move when he does. This man playing a Super Mario level.


milliemart92

I have only one question WHY???????


lightitup777

Why does this board carry the trans flag


otherguy84

He’s doing it… in slippers


Tom_piddle

I like the one with the barrels on water


Promethieus

u/savevideobot


gibmiser

I dunno, the guy is isn't even using the glitched jump cancel technique